Beauty Is In the Eye Of The Beholder!

Photo by iCapture Studios on

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder”

The Universe

This quote, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” may seem corny but holds a lot of truth to it. For the evil people in the world who believes they are the beholder over your beauty, tell them they are wrong! We must start from the beginning of, “Who set this standard of what beautiful looks likes?” Of course, a lot of us would answer and say that racism played a major part to telling people of color, in particularly women, that they are not beautiful.


Often times as a child, I was told that I was not pretty. It definitely hurt my self-confidence to where I was even afraid to speak to anyone. I did not think that anyone wanted to be friends with me. When I attended school, i did not talk nor did i want to participate in anything all because of my self- esteem was low. In fact, no one not even my mother ever told me that I could even be pretty. Even though I was the oldest, I was also the darkest. My siblings were lighter than me as some people would refer to as “yellow-bone”. They always got all of the attention. It made me feel as if I did not belong in the family or was somewhat adopted.


My first time ever feeling like I belonged to something started at school in the 2nd grade. My teachers, Mrs. Britton and Mrs. Michaels, who later on got married and changed her name, helped me to have some kind of confidence in myself. I was more excited about going to school than anything. They helped me gain friendships with my classmates and began to grow my personality. When I went home, I turned everything off like a lightbulb. My mother made it clear to me that I was not wanted. So I would go to my room, close my door, and stare out of my window. If something was wrong with me, I would not say anything. If I needed something, I did not say anything. Basically she thought something was wrong me because I would not speak directly to her. I remember having to go to speech class everyday and conversations with the school’s counselor. Honestly, nothing was wrong with me aside from the drowning accident I endured or me breaking my arm, which I’ll save for another story time. I say theses things to give you guys a backstory of how I saw things through my eyes.

Photo by Mateus Souza on

Fast-forward to my older years, i still walked around with my head down. It had taken me years or maybe even a decade to muster up confidence in myself. My sisters and their friends would talk about me and call me names. By this time, no one’s words could hurt me anymore than what my mother said and did to me. I admit that I had a rough childhood growing up into adulthood. As I reminisce about all of those bad times I endured, I think about my daughters. Girls, understand that everything mommy went through was so y’all would not have to go through it. I want to break the cycle of hatred, bullying and abuse. This cycle ends with me! I cried for so many years to our Lord and Savior that y’all are protected from the evil things and people in the world. Know that he is always working behind the scenes.

Photo by Nadine Wuchenauer on

To my daughters, little girls, young ladies, and women, know that it does not matter what anyone has to say about you. I went many years crying because I let words hurt me, but now I have built a barrier of protection now. I laugh every time someone says I’m not pretty at all because I realize that maybe they think they are not pretty. A lot of people will say mean things to you or about you but that’s only because they totally hate themselves. They know you are most likely prettier than them. Believe me when I say there is so much hate in the world and it can be someone in your circle or even your own family. Keep your eyes focused on your future! If you fall, dust yourself off and try it again! I’m rooting for every black girl out there! Say this while looking in the mirror, “I Know I’m Beautiful and no one can tell me different,” until you believe yourself. Then leave out with your head held high! I often thought no one noticed me, but know someone will always notice you!

When they say, “Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder!” You are the beholder of your own beauty! No one else gets that right to tell you otherwise. In other words, you control your own beauty!


  1. Awesome post, Alvion! With the epidemic of body shaming that seems to infect the entire globe, no doubt your post will help so many people who are bullied bases on appearance and those who have body image issues!

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: