What Lights Your Flame?
I can tell you what lights a flame under me and that is a hater. A hater is a negative or critical person. A person that simply cannot be happy for another person’s success. A person who actively and aggressively criticizes or disparages something or someone. (Source: Merriam Webster) Do you know anyone that fits these definitions? Well, I have a list that just keeps getting longer and probably will be never-ending. Here are some tips for dealing with these types of people.
Kill Them With Kindness
I know what you are about to say, “How do I achieve this?” I can definitely tell you that it will not be easy, but someone has to be the bigger person in this situation. Killing someone with kindness means being flattered by the derogatory marks and giving them a compliment for even thinking about you. “Yes, I know this sounds strange but it works!” The person will either apologize for being a jerk or get even more upset because their words did not affect you. I usually laugh it off, smile, and tell them, “Have a nice day!” Knowing that i did not do anything wrong and i did not resort to violence.
Ignoring someone might be easier said than done, but it also shows your level of maturity. Ignoring a hater could also be the best decision you have ever made. They will get in your face or bully you on the internet just to get a reaction out of you. Well, I’m telling you to ignore them and keep going about your day. If they are harassing you, then block them, and if they will not stop then report them to the proper authorities. More and more innocent people are being killed by a hater who cannot control their emotions. Doing this has saved me from a lot of unnecessary confrontations. 9 times out of 10, the hater was upset about something else and needed you to take it out on.
Talk to someone
When you are being harassed or bullied, it is important to tell someone. That someone could be a parent, a trusted friend, a school counselor, a licensed therapist, or even the police. Do not try to handle this situation on your own. It could have very damaging effects not just to your emotional health but to your mental health also. If this is happening to you in school and the school is not adequately addressing the issue for you, then go over their heads. Talk to the school superintendent, state department of Education, U.S. Department of Education, Civil rights office, and the U.S. Department of Justice, Civil Rights Division. (Source: StopBullying.gov) It should not ever get this far, but someone in these particular places could really help you. Violence is never the answer when dealing with something so serious like this. Seek out help!
There are so many alternatives to dealing with a hater/bully! Again, we must treat each other with respect in order to make it in this world. If you know someone that is being bullied or greatly affected by that situation, then speak up for them. Help one another out especially if you want to help make a change to the world. We can all make a change one step at a time.
Contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline online or at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
The toll-free call goes to the nearest crisis center in our national network. These centers provide 24-hour crisis counseling and mental health referrals.
Speak up and Help Someone Today!Assistant Secretary for Public Affairs (ASPA). “What Is Bullying.” StopBullying.gov, 15 Sept. 2020, http://www.stopbullying.gov/bullying/what-is-bullying.
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