Cyberbullying is bullying that takes place over digital devices like cell phones, computers, and tablets. Cyberbullying can occur through SMS, text, and apps or online social media, forums, or gaming where people can view, participate in, or share content.
I am a young adult and have been bullied since I was a little girl by my own mother. Bullying does not have a certain face. It can come from even the ones closet to you or whom you have grown up with. As I stated in my previous post, “Haters motivate me,” my mom always told me that she wish she never had me. As an eight year old little girl, this crush my soul because I thought I could look up to her. She meant every word then and she still sends text messages to me now saying these things. Most normal people gets texts from their mother saying how much she loves them and my mother often sends messages to me defaming my character and womanhood. She talks about my appearance when in fact I was birthed from her. The messages have turned into harassments and threats on my life. Its constant and probably will not stop. I do not understand for a child she never wanted why am I the only one that she bullies. I am telling this story to inform you that a bully could be anyone from school, outside, or even your own family. Together we can all come together to cease bullying immediately. Here I will list some tips that help me but could also others who are in dire need of freedom from this.
- Don’t React. When my mom would say rude and nasty things to me, it was all to get a reaction out of me. Let me just say this, I love God and respect the Word of God. Until this day, I will not yell back nor fight my mother all because of the Grace of God. I simply walked away from every altercation she started.
- Don’t take it personal. As a young girl, I let every mean word she said to me, affect me. It lowered my self esteem tremendously. I did not understand what I could have done. It took me until my young adulthood to realized that I was not the problem. I gained my confidence over time and now when she threatens me, I brush it off. I have learned that now its her own insecurities that she is putting on me.
- Remove Yourself. During my young adult years, I could not take all of the hate anymore. I had to remove myself from her life. Its the best decision that I could have made. I had given my mom the benefit of the doubt each time and she has shown me over and over that her hate for me still remains. I have had more peace than I have ever had in my entire life since birth.
- Tell Someone with Authority. When I was a young girl, I had the opportunity to tell someone that this was happening to me. Because my mom put so much fear in me, I lied to the authorities to save her. I do regret this decision that I made as a young girl because I could have had a better life growing up. I could have been in a safer environment that was not abusive. Please do not wait to speak up like I did. Now that I am an adult and the bullying is still happening. I am going to file a police report because this type of abuse is never okay. It followed me to my adulthood.
- Don’t Stoop to Their Level. Even though my mom has called me every name in the book, I just let her speak. Please do not waste your time or energy going back and forth with anybody. Its definitely unnecessary and you probably have better things to be doing then wasting your time on a hater.
- Avoid Physical Altercations. When my mom would say distasteful things to me, she did it so that I would physically fight her. Well guess what, she called me scary and all kinds of other things because I refuse to fight her back. She would hit me for no reason, wanting me to react. If someone wants to start a fight with you, walk away. Its not worth it even if they think you are scared of them. Let them think that because you do not have to prove yourself to anyone but your own self. Walk away and tell someone what is going on.
- Document the Offenses. This is important especially when you press charges against the bully. I have screenshots of every little mean, rude and nasty thing she or others has sent to me from her. The truth will prevail while the bullies hide behind lies.
- Speak Up. The worst thing I could have deal when dealing with this situation since I was a young child was not speaking up to someone that could have helped me. Please tell someone that you can trust that will do the right thing for you. If you are at school, go the counselor or the principal. There are many people that could help you with something so serious like this. Do not worry about others calling you names because you did speak up.
- Don’t Blame Yourself. This goes back to do not take this personal. As a child, my mom made me believed that I was the problem. This took a toll on my confidence and self esteem. Even when I started to build my confidence, here she was to tear me down again. I thought something was wrong with me. Then I realized that something is seriously wrong with my mom and she needs help. I tried to get her help and of course she resented me even more for doing that. Please do not blame yourself for anything that anyone says to you.
In conclusion, I am still learning along the way on how to deal with bullies. I hope this article helps you get through something that may seem difficult. Please share this with someone that may need help. Let them know that everything will okay. Tell them that they are amazing and strong for dealing with something like this. A bully will not win and in God’s word, “No weapon formed against you shall prosper!”
If you or you know someone that is being bullied, please tell someone or speak up for them. Also can visit stopbullying.gov. Contact the local authorities.
This has to stop once and for all! Feel free to contact me if need be!